The Businessman

I don’t advocate love marriages; neither do I favor arranged ones. I look at both of them as a means to meet your life partner. The only advantage of love marriages is that you get comparatively more time to judge the comfort level and the compatibility factors before you decide on the person you would want to marry. However, in arranged marriages, the decision is more or less governed by the family members hence the emphasis on the aforementioned factors is less.

Since I am not totally averse to the idea of an arranged marriage, I agreed to meet this guy on my parents’ suggestion. He was a businessman who owned a chain of food-joints. Both the families mutually agreed upon meeting at one of his open-air coffee shops. When we reached the venue, his father graciously came to the entrance to receive us. He ushered us to a large table in a corner, where the rest of the family, which consisted of his mother, elder brother, his wife and a kid, was eagerly waiting for us. The ambience was pleasing with soft lights and soothing music in the backdrop. We took our seats. A few moments later, beverages arrived and along with came the guy. Did I mention that they requested to see me in sari? Weird? Welcome to the world of arranged marriages!! I was almost melting in that attire. I tried different postures but couldn’t figure out one to settle in. It felt somewhat funny showcasing myself but then there I was.

His father broke the ice and both the families started talking to each other about trivia. I felt kind of relieved for not being center of attraction any more, momentarily though. His sister-in-law pounced on me with her list of questions, “Do you know cooking?”

Now if you’ve read my other blog, you’d know that cooking is my hobby and I can cook almost about anything. But you love your hobbies as long as they are not imposed on you and if this question is asked in such a setting, then anyone is likely to say, “I’m a terrible cook.”

She smiled in response. A few more questions from different family members and I felt that I was being scrutinized from different angles. I deduced that job interviews are far easier than the matrimonial ones.

Then his mother suggested that me and her son should talk separately. She requested for my mother’s permission which was duly granted. He took me to the adjacent table. I could sense his eyes fixed on me. But I couldn’t raise my eyes, so I continued to fiddle with my phone.

“What are your office timings?” came his first question which, considering the other questions, was pretty normal. So I answered it politely. Please don’t get me wrong, I answered all the questions politely (as directed by my mom), just that I was slightly taken aback by the kind of questions that were being thrown at me.

His next question, keeping pace with others, was something I could not imagine myself answering even in my worst dreams.

“What you wear to work?” he goes.

I looked at him for a moment thinking if he belonged to the same era as mine.

“Clothes, like any normal human being. What about you?” I was zapped at the ugliness of the question.

“I don’t like girls in westerns.”

“I thought clothing is all about one’s comfort. Would you stop wearing denims if you spouse doesn’t like it?”

“Would you continue to work post marriage?”

“Well! I haven’t thought about it yet. Priorities change with time. So far, yes I would continue to work. Are you looking for a house-wife?”

“Yes!”

“A working woman may be as good as a housewife. Don’t you think it’s more important to understand your partner than imposing yourself on her?”

“I was just trying to be clear.”

“I appreciate you being upfront and I would also not like to lead you on. I don’t think I am the kind of girl you’re looking for.”

It’s not difficult to sacrifice something but finding the right person who is worth the sacrifice is certainly difficult. I believe a successful relationship is more about giving than taking. Any marriage can be worked out if both the parties care to understand, respect and accommodate each other’s needs. In other words, it’s the unconditional love and dedication that makes it all possible.